


Between Two Points

by aromanticjungkook (missbutterfly)



Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: Alcohol, Confessions, Cuddling & Snuggling, Dry Humping, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Intimacy, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pre-Relationship, Romance, Sharing a Bed, Unresolved Sexual Tension, soft angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-04
Updated: 2019-05-28
Packaged: 2019-11-09 00:05:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 14,223
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17991089
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/missbutterfly/pseuds/aromanticjungkook
Summary: "It sits innocently in the middle of the room. It's a decent size and looks inviting with its plush pillows and turned down sheets but it's still there - alone.One bed.Oh god."While Javi and Yuzu are travelling during the off-season, one of their hotels makes a mistake.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> okay!! 
> 
>  
> 
> **first, and most importantly, this fic has zero context lmao i don't name the city they're in because it doesn't really matter, picture any city u fancy bc if it has a castle then it's fair game, also i pictured this to be set sometime around yuzu's retirement but u can set it any time u like after pyeongchang**
> 
> this started out as me expanding a fic idea into a drabble for a friend and well... it got away from me a bit
> 
> once again, almost entirely un-beta'd

As soon as Javi enters the room he pauses. He hears Yuzu stop curiously behind him and it isn't long before he feels a bony fingertip begin to prod the back of his shoulder.

“Javi!” Yuzu whines, but Javi is too distracted to pay attention.

One bed.

It sits innocently in the middle of the room. It's a decent size and looks inviting with its plush pillows and turned down sheets but it's still there - alone.

Oh god.

The prodding turns into a shove and Javi spins in place to meet Yuzu's slightly annoyed expression. It drops once Yuzu sees his face.

“What?” Yuzu asks.

Javi clears his throat awkwardly. “There's,” he starts before doing it again. “There's only one bed.”

Yuzu's eyes widen briefly before he pushes past Javi and makes his way into the room properly. He stands at the foot of the bed and stares at it.

“Uh,” Javi says. “I can go to the reception and ask if they have a different room?”

That won't do anything, Javi knows, and Yuzu likely knows it too. The foyer was packed when they had arrived, there was some kind of event going on in town. Even if there was a different room available it was probably either a single or excessively expensive. 

As expected, Yuzu shakes his head. Javi watches as he chews the inside of his cheek for a second before he's faced with Yuzu's determined gaze. 

“No,” Yuzu says firmly. “We can sleep here.”

Javi almost smiles. Between the tone, the set jaw and the pinched brows it's like watching Yuzu plan his next competition layout; Yuzu has always been made up of stubbornness and fire. This, it seems, is no different, just another bump in the road, something else to conquer.

“Okay then,” Javi says and finally rolls his suitcase in.

Together they look at the bed and then glance at each other. 

It's fine. 

They can do this.

\---

Javi can't do this.

Instead of cosy and soft the sheets feel scratchy and irritating. He can't get comfortable, no matter how he lies something starts aching or itching. His skin feels hypersensitive and hot which isn't helping. Initially he'd stuck one foot out in order to combat the stuffiness under the covers but then his toes got too cold so he'd brought it back under and then he was back to square one. Javi suppresses a groan.

His back feels like it's burning. Behind him, Javi knows Yuzu is lying stiffly. He hasn't heard him move in over 10 minutes, but he isn't sleeping either, Javi would be able to tell. Part of Javi wants to call out and ask, to break the weird, tense silence between them, but he doesn't want to call attention to it either. Annoyed with himself he shuffles quietly again, trying not to make too much noise. If there's one thing he doesn't need right now it's to make Yuzu snippy. 

“Javi?” 

Javi freezes at the almost inaudible mumble. 

“Yeah?” He croaks.

“Are you okay?”

Sweat starts to gather across Javi's palms. “I'm fine,” he says.

Yuzu is quiet for a second and Javi starts thinking he's decided to drop it before Yuzu speaks again. 

“You're moving a lot.” 

God above just end this already, Javi thinks. At least Yuzu doesn't sounds angry, just a bit concerned and, Javi realises, amused.

“Just trying to get comfy,” Javi says.

“Oh,” Yuzu says. “Okay.”

Thinking that will be that, Javi takes it as permission to move his whole body and he stretches out with a slight groan before curling up again. 

The distance between them is almost its own third physical presence. Javi can feel every inch of it. The bed is wide and Javi's bent knees are in line with the edge of it. It feels like between him and Yuzu there is miles and miles of cold air. He wonders briefly if Yuzu is at the end of his side, or if he's moved any closer during his brief wiggling spell earlier, likely trying to get comfortable himself. He wonders if he reaches back he could brush against some part of Yuzu; maybe his arm, or his back. Perhaps he could curl his fingers around Yuzu's wrist, stroke his thumb along the sensitive skin below his palm. Or if he would just find the covers - chilled without the heat of their bodies - lying between them. The thought makes Javi shiver.

Javi sighs and turns his head to press his face into the edge of his pillow. The ever present want - need - to touch Yuzu is starting to ache. He can feel it with every second he looks at him, thinks about him. Every cell in his body is crying out for it. Javi's fingers twitch, locked in their tight hold on the bed sheets, and he fights the urge down. He can't. Javi can't cross that line. Thickly, painfully, he swallows it down. 

Resigned, Javi forces his eyes closed. Then, behind him, the rustling starts up again. Resolutely, Javi attempts to ignore it, but it doesn't stop. Javi's frowns and opens his eyes, ready to ask Yuzu if he's okay before he feels it.

Yuzu is moving closer.

Javi lies, his breath caught in his chest, as he feels the heat of Yuzu shuffling towards him. Then there's a still, quiet moment. Javi counts his heartbeats - catalogues it's fast, stuttering throbs - before Yuzu huffs and then there's an arm around his waist and pressure against his back.

Automatically, Javi begins to adjust; his knees uncurl so Yuzu can slot his thighs tightly against him, his shoulders loosen as Yuzu's forehead presses into the top of his spine, his back curves perfectly into the warmth of Yuzu's chest and it's - everything.

The chill of Yuzu's nose against Javi's feverish skin is strangely stimulating, and Javi leans his head back, feels the movement bring the gentlest brush of Yuzu's lips with it and Javi feels a shudder rattle through his whole body. Yuzu pulls him in tighter. 

“Is this okay?” Yuzu asks, just a hint of a breath and lips against him and Javi almost moans.

Instead of answering, Javi shifts a hand down and links his fingers through Yuzu's against his stomach. Briefly, he strokes his thumb over the back of Yuzu's hand. It's not the inside of his wrist but I'll do. 

Javi feels it when Yuzu's eyes close, feels his eyelashes flutter, and Javi's own fall shut in turn. Together, they fall asleep almost immediately.

\---

They don't talk about it the next morning. 

Javi wakes up slowly to the scent of Yuzu's shampoo wafting from where Yuzu is lying with his head cushioned on Javi's chest. He's still breathing deeply, one small hand clinging to the curve of Javi's waist, all sleep-warm and sweet. The quilt is in a tangle around their legs so Javi only has the cover of Yuzu to protect him from the chilly morning air. Javi finds Yuzu is doing the job perfectly.

Javi doesn't move until Yuzu wakes up, basking in the feeling of having him so close and content, but eventually Yuzu stirs. Of course, Javi thinks, he couldn't keep this for long. Reality tends to seep it's way into the cracks of even the most remote hotel rooms. Yuzu wakes up, yawns, pats Javi's stomach gently and then heaves himself out of bed and in the bathroom to shower. He doesn't say a word. The cold of the room finds Javi's skin and he hates it, suddenly, violently. 

Quietly they each shower, pack and move on to the next city.

And that's it.

\---

While Javi knows in his heart the incident was simply that, just a one-off moment, when he pushes his way into the next hotel room he finds himself holding his breath. He lets it out again in a sigh he quickly tries to disguise as one of relief and turns to Yuzu.

“Two beds!” Javi says, forcing happiness that tastes far too saccharine into his tone.

Yuzu's mouth twists oddly before he smiles too. Then he moves to claim the bed closest to the window. 

This is fine, Javi thinks, as he dumps his suitcase on the bed closest to the bathroom.

This is _fine_. 

\---

It isn't fine. 

The sleep Javi gets that night is some of the worst he's ever had. When he finally blinks awake the next morning it feels as though he's been drained of every sense of energy he's ever had, his limbs lined with lead. Getting himself out of bed is a herculean task. Somehow, he's awake before Yuzu again.

Javi showers, barely able to keep himself standing, and changes back into his boxers, sliding his glasses on. He steps of out of the bathroom, towel drying his hair as lazily as possible, shivering as soon as he makes his way into the room, wishing he'd brought a shirt with him.

Yuzu is sitting up on his bed, staring out into the room, one eye more closed than the other. He looks so dopey that Javi almost laughs but instead a quick flash of concern shoots through him. Yuzu mustn't have slept properly either. Javi watches as Yuzu blinks at him, his cheeks pink with leftover sleep, before Yuzu drops his head into his hands and lets out a low groan. That's what gets Javi to laugh.

“Shut up!” Yuzu drawls out in a long whine. “I'm tired!” 

Javi keeps chuckling as he finally pulls on a shirt, grunting at the way it pulls on his glasses. 

“Come on!” Javi says, going for cheerful and barely managing. He roots through his suitcase for his clean jeans. “We have to go exploring! That's the whole point of this trip, I'm not sitting in here all day.”

With a triumphant cheer Javi manages to find his jeans and goes to pull them out when he feels Yuzu fall against his back. Yuzu - forehead pressed securely between Javi's shoulders - leans there for a second. 

Javi doesn't move. 

Yuzu doesn't cling to him, Javi can't even feel his breath, but the pressure against his back is so reminiscent of how they slept that night that it makes Javi's skin tingle. 

Javi is certain he doesn't breathe again until Yuzu slumps backwards, off of him. 

Again, Yuzu doesn't say anything as he trudges his way into the bathroom to get ready for the day, some clothes and his toothbrush bunched in his fist. On his way through the door he accidentally bumps his elbow into the doorframe and Javi finds himself smiling at Yuzu's rapidfire Japanese cursing. 

His heart doesn't settle for a long time after that.

\---

Mercifully, they end up having a nice enough day. They wander throughout the city, mostly dragging their feet and unable to pay attention to anything other than the most obvious sites. They stare up at the castle on the top of what - in their sleepy state - looks more like a cliff than a grassy hill and decide castles are all just castles, they don't need to walk up the hill to see any it any closer. Yuzu halfheartedly snaps a picture on his phone to send to his family later, but that's as enthusiastic as they get. 

Both of them keep yawning, and the gentle heat of of springtime sun is calming enough to emphasise their lethargy. After Yuzu's second yawn in under a minute, Javi makes up his mind. He wraps his arm around Yuzu's waist and tips him closer into his side. Yuzu let's his head flop fully onto Javi's shoulder with a soft sigh, eyes fluttering in an effort to stay open. 

“We should nap,” Javi mumbles, resisting the urge to rest his cheek on Yuzu's head.

Yuzu wiggles slightly but makes no real effort to break from his hold. “No,” he says. “You say we can explore. We're exploring.”

“Are we?” Javi asks wryly, and gets a swift elbow to the stomach for his trouble.

The breeze picks up around them and Yuzu shivers gently, burrowing closer into the warmth of Javi's side. Javi feels his chest clench torturously. 

“Ok then if we're exploring what do you want to do next?” Javi asks, glancing around over the top of Yuzu's head. “We've seen the castle and the high street, what next?”

Predictably, Yuzu doesn't answer, too busy dozing lightly.

Javi rolls his eyes fondly, and shakes Yuzu firmly. Yuzu jolts and blinks furiously.

“I wasn't asleep!” He slurs, too loud.

“Uh-huh, sure,” Javi teases.

Yuzu sways away from Javi, rubbing at his eyes with closed fists in a manner so cute it takes everything in Javi to not audibly coo. Blearly, Yuzu twirls to inspect their surroundings. Thankfully, this street isn’t too busy to no one pays them any mind. Javi watches as Yuzu peers around before he finally stops and faces Javi with a pathetic expression.

“What?” Javi asks, clenching his fists inside his jacket pockets so he doesn’t do something stupid like reach out and stroke along Yuzu’s jawline.

“Can we nap?” Yuzu asks.

Javi laughs the entire walk back to the hotel. If their hands brush every so often, Javi chooses to ignore it. It’s an accident anyway.

\---

It becomes less funny when they start getting comfortable in their hotel room. 

Yuzu immediately beelines for his bed and collapses face first onto it. Javi tuts when he sees he didn’t even bother to take his trainers off. 

“Yuzu,” he says, slipping out of his jacket and throwing it onto the chair in the corner. “Yuzu, your shoes.”

Yuzu just groans. Javi is busy toeing his own shoes off when he notices Yuzu’s legs start to move. Instead of sitting up, Yuzu has started trying to blindly kick them off his feet. Javi watches, trying his best not to laugh at the way Yuzu fails to leverage them properly and settles for rubbing the laces against the bottom of the bed in an effort to loosen them. Javi’s teeth clamp into his bottom lip, shoulders starting to shake, at the long, despondent whine Yuzu let’s out as he gives up.

“Need a hand?” Javi asks, grinning.

Wordlessly, Yuzu kicks one of his feet up. Javi starts working on the laces.

“You’ve gotten so lazy,” Javi says, then laughs when Yuzu kicks his hand. Javi loosens Yuzu’s laces and gets to work on the other shoe. “Imagine, being a two time Olympic champion, and you still have to have someone take your shoes off for you like a child.”

Yuzu kicks him again. Javi grabs him by the ankle and yanks him down the bed in punishment. Yuzu yelps and lifts his head to glare at him over his shoulder, fringe poking up endearingly.

“I’m tired!” 

Javi pulls both of Yuzu’s shoes off and throws them gently at Yuzu’s back. One bounces off but the other lands perfectly in the sloping curve above Yuzu’s ass. Yuzu reaches around, grabs it, and throws it onto the floor with a huff. 

“I know you’re tired, you’ve told me at least 80 times,” Javi says. “Besides I’m as tired as you are!” He points at Yuzu and acts scandalised when Yuzu just sticks his tongue out at him and shoves his face back into the bed.

Conceding, Javi wanders back towards the bathroom to pee. 

“If you’re gonna sleep, take your jeans off too,” He calls.

The last thing Javi hears before he closes the door is a muffled, teasing call, “Yes sir!”

This trip is going to be the death of him.

\---

After splashing water on his face for a good couple of minutes, Javi manages to gather the courage to leave the bathroom.

The room is darkened by the closed curtains. Instead of being slumped on top of the bed, Yuzu is curled into a tight ball under the covers, only a small tuft of hair peeking from the top. His jeans are in a crumpled heap on the floor in front of his bed. 

Yuzu looks warm, snuggled up tight. Javi glances at his own bed; the perfectly tucked starched sheets and the fluffed pillows don’t look nearly as inviting as they should. He holds in a sigh. As tired as Javi is, the idea of having to spend any more time in that bed is the last thing he wants to do. The fact of the matter is - he just doesn’t want to sleep without Yuzu. Part of Javi resents that night between them; he hates admitting that but it’s true. He hates that he knows how Yuzu feels against him. He hates that his skin can’t stop fucking singing at the thought of it. That bonedeep, gnawing _ache_ feels like it’s spread. If he could he would crawl under Yuzu’s covers in a heartbeat. They’d fit. The bed might only be a twin but Javi knows that if he pulled Yuzu in tight enough they’d have no problems fitting. The hair on Javi’s arms stands on end at that. He wants to curve in as tightly as Yuzu did that night - tighter even. He wants them pressed together, head to toe; wants to slide his hands under Yuzu’s shirt and drag his thumb across Yuzu’s stomach to make him tremble; wants to kiss the sensitive skin along the back of his neck; wants to hold him, safe and tender and warm. 

Javi’s throat clenches and he tries to swallow the feeling down again.

It takes physical effort to draw his gaze away from Yuzu and back to his own bed. Petty, he glares at it for a while, before he shakes his head. He needs to sleep. Javi steps out of his jeans and takes his socks off too after a second of consideration. He rubs at his eyes under his glasses before sliding them off his face and throwing them onto his bed, irritated. Javi almost wants to try sleeping curled up in the pointy looking wooden chair in the corner, but that would involve moving all of his stuff, which, frankly, isn’t going to happen. 

Just as he’s about to give in and fight his covers free of the bed he hears something.

“Javi?”

Just like that night, the soft mumble barely reaches him.

“Sorry,” Javi hurries to say, hushed. “Am I making too much noise?”

There’s a rustling as Yuzu finally moves. “No,” he says. “You were thinking loud though.”

Javi snorts and reaches down to grab his quilt. “Sorry,” he says snidely, but then gentles his tone. It’s not Yuzu’s fault he’s annoyed, not really. “I’m gonna sleep, so my thinking will get super quiet.”

Yuzu giggles slightly, not much more than a sigh, but Javi still hears it. He counts it as a win. 

“Did you take off your jeans?” Yuzu asks. 

Javi rolls his eyes. Brat. “Yes, I did.”

“Good.”

The rustling gets louder and Javi turns curiously to look at Yuzu and finds that he’s lifted the corner of his covers up over him, his clothed back exposed to the room. Javi’s mouth dries up.

For a second Javi gapes, mentally floundering. 

Evidently his mental gymnastics takes too long because Yuzu lifts his head to look back over his shoulder and-

Oh.

In the dim light of the room Javi can’t see Yuzu’s face in much detail, but his eyes are wide, mouth bitten red and Javi has seen that nervous expression so many times, but never aimed at him.

Javi’s heart twinges. 

“What is it, Yuzu?” He asks, because he has to know, he can’t just assume.

Shyly, Yuzu nods at the empty half of his pillow. That’s all the invitation Javi needs.

Tentatively, Javi steps over to Yuzu’s bed, holding his gaze even as he stands over him. The covers have arranged his hair into a soft, tousled mess, and his cheeks are darkening under Javi’s stare. He looks so vulnerable, strangely small in a way Yuzu never does, despite his slender build. His personality is so loud, bright and vibrant that he never seems small, but, he does now, watching Javi so timidly.

Before Javi realises what he’s doing, he reaches out and strokes his knuckles along the soft skin of Yuzu’s cheek, staring at the way Yuzu's mouth parts sweetly. Hurriedly, Javi pulls his hand back from Yuzu’s face, purposefully ignoring Yuzu’s gentle gasp, and instead pats the side of his shoulder.

“Move over a bit.”

Yuzu shuffles forward dutifully. 

Carefully, Javi slots himself in behind Yuzu. Underneath the covers is already warm from Yuzu lying there on his own, and even that makes Javi feel more tired than the idea of sleeping by himself. They shuffle about for a second, but before Javi can even entertain the idea of leaving some space between them, Yuzu reaches back and grabs Javi by the wrist. With all the brazen attitude of the other night, Yuzu slots Javi’s arm comfortably around his own waist, and pulls at him until Javi is flush against his back, knees and thighs tucked in close. 

“Lift up for a second?” Javi whispers. He slides his other arm comfortably underneath Yuzu’s pillow, not minding for a second that his hand is going to get cold. 

When Yuzu lies back down, Javi - tired, so, _so_ tired - gives into every urge he’s bitten back. He fiddles with the bottom of Yuzu’s shirt, and when Yuzu doesn’t move to stop him, he slides his hand underneath, brushing along warm, bare skin, relishing in the way it quivers under his fingertips. He keeps his touch firm, solid and not teasing, splaying his fingers wide over Yuzu’s sternum. Yuzu shakes against him, hitching out tiny gasps, but Javi ignores them, using his hold to pull Yuzu in as tightly as possible. Javi doesn’t kiss his neck, but he buries his face into Yuzu’s hair, craving the oddly soothing scent of his shampoo again. Without any space between them it’s almost too warm, but Javi doesn’t loosen up for a second. If anything, he relaxes even closer.

Yuzu remains tense for a few - long - seconds, but then goes boneless, reaching under his shirt to wrap his hand loosely around Javi’s wrist again.

It feels perfect. Right. _Them_.

Javi’s eyes are already falling shut when Yuzu mumbles out a small, “Goodnight.”

“Sweet dreams, cariño.”

They sleep soundly.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It keeps happening.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay listen sagsfhgajsaghsj 
> 
> this was meant to just be a quick continuation but 6k words later HERE WE ARE
> 
> (pls take note of the new tags and rating change thank u)

It keeps happening.

They wake up, pack and move on. Nothing much changes, except when they turn up to each hotel there seems to be an unspoken expectation that they’ll share a bed. If there’s two twins, they automatically pick one to share. Initially, when they arrive at the first hotel where they’d been able to book separate rooms, Javi tentatively hovers near one of the doors until Yuzu gives him a look, grabs him by the wrist, and pulls him into the room he had picked.

That night Yuzu tucks himself against Javi’s side, just like how they woke up that first morning. Truthfully, it’s one of Javi’s favourite cuddling positions, but he keeps that to himself. Instead, he lets himself get lost in the feeling. Yuzu all but purrs when Javi finally slides his fingers into Yuzu’s hair and gently scratches over his scalp.

Javi chuckles when Yuzu sleepily mumbles “Finally, you remember,” against his chest.

He falls asleep feeling lighter than he has in a while.

However, after the fourth, fifth, sixth time it happens, Javi starts feeling uneasy. This trip won’t last forever, eventually Javi is going to have to go home and sleep alone. He’s been trying his best to ignore the way his stomach twinges whenever he thinks about it. Javi considers bringing it up to Yuzu, but he knows him too well. Javi knows the second he even alludes to the fact that he’s starting to question their sleeping arrangement, Yuzu will pull back, he’ll turn away and pretend it never happened. Javi wouldn’t be able to take that, not now after he’s seen the slightly dozy expression Yuzu wears as soon as he wakes up; felt how Yuzu clings tighter once he’s on the brink of awareness; felt him press his cold nose against Javi’s shoulder and groan into his neck. It’s addicting, and Javi, selfishly, wants more. 

So Javi keeps quiet. He bites back the confusion and tries to settle into the warmth of Yuzu’s skin against his own, and quietly holds on just as tightly, pressing desperately against the lingering urge to dig his fingertips in and leave behind marks as proof that this really happening. 

When Javi wakes up Yuzu is already showering. 

The warmth of Yuzu’s body has already disappeared from the sheets, and Javi does his best to ignore how much that hurts for the rest of the day. 

\---

It continues on like that for a while. Javi tries to forget that this while eventually come to an end, but having to spend each day in close proximity to Yuzu’s beaming smile makes it difficult. He's helped along by their adventures. Spending time with Yuzu is easy, enough that watching him excitedly learn about the history of the cities and snoop through gift shops distracts from the growing restlessness in his body. 

They find a routine they're comfortable with and slip into it as if it's something they've been doing all their lives. Waking up together feels natural. As much as Javi loves it, he tries not to think about that either.

This morning is the same.

Dead tired from a full day of sightseeing and stuffing their faces with amazing food, neither of them move in their sleep. In what has strangely become a habit, Javi wakes up first, disturbed by the thick line of sunlight glaring through the gap in the curtains. He turns his head away from it and groans. Javi props his chin on top of Yuzu's head, lying on his back beside him, ignoring the slight tickle of Yuzu's messy hair.

Javi let's himself doze, finding some peace in the quiet stillness of their room. However, it isn't too long before he notices the ache in his arm from where Yuzu has lain on it all night. He could wiggle it free but he doesn't want to disturb Yuzu completely, so instead he nudges him gently until Yuzu rolls back into his side again, throwing a leg over Javi's hips as he settles. The feeling of someone's skin on his own has always been a comfort to Javi; a hand on his cheek, interlaced fingers, Yuzu's calf against his bare thigh.

Since they started this a couple of weeks ago, they've lost a few layers as they got more comfortable. Yuzu straying away from the full pajamas and Javi preferring to sleep just in his underwear. It's not like they need clothes to keep themselves warm anyway, not anymore.

Javi curls his arm around Yuzu's waist, listening to him stir slightly from being moved. For a second Javi thinks he'll wake up properly, but instead he mumbles sleepily, runs a hand up Javi's ribs and nuzzles him slightly. Javi smiles. He's content to let Yuzu wake up slowly, they never really plan their days so lying in is fine. He lies back with a sigh and enjoys the caress of Yuzu's hand.

Javi echoes the movement, sweeping his hand up and down Yuzu's back in long, firm strokes. He doesn't watch to tickle him, doesn't want to burst this little intimate bubble they've made for themselves. Yuzu lets out a quiet, barely there sigh and Javi's heart stutters. When he does it again, Javi notices something.

Yuzu's hips are moving.

Javi's fingers clench and his breath hitches. It's the gentlest motion, a slight constant pressure, but now that he's aware of it it feels almost overwhelming, like Javi is going to burn from the inside.

It seems as if Yuzu is doing it without any real intent, just enjoying the pleasant sensation. His hips work in tiny little circles against Javi's thigh, lips parted around almost silent moans, like secret whispers against Javi's skin. Javi can feel them; the tender, wet press of Yuzu's mouth and the brush of his breath. He can't help but wonder what it would be like if Yuzu pushed closer, grazed his teeth over Javi's skin. Would he get lost in it if he realised what he was doing? Would he ever let himself use Javi as a means of getting off, hold him closer and grind forward deliberately? A terrifyingly loud part of Javi's brain wants that to happen.

Javi bites back the groan in his throat as Yuzu lies comfortable, sleepy and warm, rubbing against Javi sweetly. 

Javi tries not to think about it but his mind gets away from him. It would be easy, he thinks, to reach down, slide his fingers into Yuzu’s underwear and press his palm into the meat of Yuzu’s ass, help him find real purchase against Javi’s thigh. Perhaps he could coax Yuzu on top of him, could cradle Yuzu’s slender form against him securely, feel his heat all over him, feel him drool and moan as he thrusts against the tightness of Javi’s stomach. Javi’s hips twitch at the idea of Yuzu sitting lower, rubbing himself along Javi’s rapidly awakening cock until they both fall apart, sticky and damp; imagines Yuzu looking down at him, his mouth parted and wet around his fingers, his eyes sleepy and dark. 

Javi clenches his jaw to hide his stuttering breath. He can’t, he _can’t_ , but the feeling of Yuzu’s hips and his hands and his lips is just too damn much. He presses a kiss to Yuzu's hair, breathing in the scent of him. He curls his arm around the curve of Yuzu's waist, and lets himself enjoy, savour, every sweet moan that seeps from him. 

Javi jolts when Yuzu suddenly pushes forward with a quick, sharp thrust. He must have found a good angle because he whines, high and loud, and Javi's stomach pulses, gasping against Yuzu’s hair. He can’t help but finally inch his leg closer to Yuzu, Yuzu’s own thigh clamping down to keep him still, to keep Javi where he needs him, where he feels perfect. Yuzu makes that noise again and it makes Javi dizzy. It sings through him like it’s determined to reach every part of his body. 

But then, Yuzu goes still, suspiciously stiff, and completely silent.

He's awake.

Javi's heart is pounding fiercely, it feels like it's trying to shatter his sternum. He knows Yuzu will have noticed he's awake, his breath is coming too quick for him to pretend he's still asleep. Javi is right, because almost immediately, Yuzu tenses. 

In a desperate attempt to break the silence Javi, stupidly, blurts out, “Did you have a good dream?”

The second Yuzu tries to squirm away Javi wants to take it back. In a sudden fit of panic, he braces his arm against Yuzu’s back. 

“Sorry!” Javi says. “Bad joke!”

Javi can feel the panic sweat building on Yuzu’s back and curses internally for ruining the moment. However, he doesn’t let go. Javi holds on tight, thumb soothing Yuzu’s lower back. Yuzu stops struggling in favour of simply unwrapping his leg from Javi’s middle and shuffling his hips back as far as he can manage. Under Javi’s arm he curls into a tight ball and shoves his face into Javi’s shoulder. The noticeable burn of Yuzu’s cheeks makes Javi’s heart ache and he presses his nose to the top of Yuzu’s head. 

“I’m sorry,” Javi mumbles into Yuzu’s hair. “I shouldn’t have made a joke.” 

As much as he can manage, Yuzu shakes his head.

“Are you, uh, okay?” Javi stutters, and then huffs when Yuzu slaps his side. “Okay! Okay! Message received.”

There’s a moment of tense silence before Yuzu whispers, “Let go.”

If anything Javi clings more firmly. 

“Are you going to run away?” Javi asks, leaning his head away to try and sneak a look at Yuzu’s face.

“Yes!” 

It's so loud and so, so embarrassed that Javi feels a bit nauseous. This wasn't how this was supposed to go. He wants to go back, keep his fucking mouth shut and just let Yuzu extract himself from Javi's side peacefully. Yes, Yuzu would have been just as embarrassed, probably would have avoided eye contact all day and occasionally stuttered out an apology but it would have been better than this. 

Javi sighs and loosens his grip, laying his arm against the pillow beside him. 

“Fine,” he says, resigned and sharp. He sighs again. “But, seriously, I'm not angry or anything, I really don't care.”

That's a lie. Javi cares. Javi cares a lot. He cares so much his ears are still ringing with that overly sweet cry, and they'll likely never stop. It feels like Yuzu is going to be embedded in him - in his mind and under his skin - for an incredibly long time. Mercifully though, Javi doesn't mind that part at all.

Yuzu doesn't move for a second, but eventually he extracts himself from Javi's side and slinks off to the bathroom. As he goes, Javi gets a brief glance at his face. He's blazing red from his forehead down into his shirt, and in a brief lapse in control Javi pictures himself soothing it with his mouth. The way Yuzu’s thighs pull tight as he climbs off the bed is almost enough for Javi to ask - beg - Yuzu to come back and finish what he had inadvertently started. The just-too-loud bang of the bathroom door is enough to snap him out of it.

With a groan Javi drags his hands roughly down his face.

If Yuzu even looks at him today Javi will be lucky. 

\---

Javi moves around slowly, checking his phone and choosing his clothes for the day. Yuzu uses his shower as an excuse to hide for the better part of an hour. He didn’t take anything in with him so when he bursts through the door he’s still dressed for bed. Javi startles when Yuzu stomps his way over to him and shoves his hands on his hips, staring Javi dead in the eye with with a furious scowl on his face.

Well then.

“Uh, is everything alright?” Javi asks.

“I want to get drunk,” Yuzu says firmly.

Javi’s eyebrows fly up. “You?” Javi stresses. “ _You_ want to get drunk?”

It wouldn’t be the first time, Javi knows. He’s seen drunk Yuzu before and, while rare, he’s always a fun time. Javi remembers the snapchats he got from Miki one night when Yuzu had been roped into joining the girls for their night in, and personally, Javi thought Yuzu suited those shades of lipstick. Not that he had said as much, or replied with anything beyond “XD”, but he had looked over each photo and video fondly as Yuzu, well known for his self-discipline, had let go and had some fun. 

Still, Yuzu was never the one to initially offer. He’s always happier to go about banquets and parties sober, and then maybe allow himself one or two drinks during a private night in when invited. He’s always been so careful. Javi finds his surprise justified. 

“Yes,” Yuzu says. He flushes again but doesn’t look away. “This morning is very embarrassing and I hate it. I shower and think for a long time how to make it better. And this is how.”

Javi blinks. “So you want to get drunk to stop feeling embarrassed?”

“Yes.”

Javi sighs. “Yuzu it’s fine, you don’t need to be embarrassed anyway. You didn’t do anything wrong and it’s not like I care so we can just move on.”

“Well, _I_ care,” Yuzu says. He moves his hands from his hips and holds them out in from of him. A small part of Javi breaks when he sees how much Yuzu is shaking. 

“ _I care_ ,” Yuzu says again, but its weaker, and he stares at Javi desperately. “I keep thinking and I need normal time with Javi, just talk and have fun. No walking around and thinking.”

Javi’s resolve crumbles instantly.

“The bar downstairs looked okay. We can get breakfast and then, well have fun I guess.”

The looks of relief that crosses Yuzu’s face fuels him. Javi will make sure Yuzu has fun today.

\---

Between waking up late, the time Yuzu wasted in the shower, and leaving to find somewhere to eat, by the time they return to the hotel bar it’s around 2pm. A reasonable time to drink while on holiday in Javi’s opinion. He’s certainly started earlier.

Javi gets himself a beer while Yuzu searches through their surprisingly extensive cocktail menu. Then, orders in hand, they find themselves a table. Yuzu, unsurprisingly chooses a secluded area off to the side, and they settle in comfortably. 

The only other people in there are a group of girls a few tables over. They’re playing some kind of drinking game, laughing with each other. Javi finds himself lazily sweeping his eyes over the girl on the left, not really thinking much of it until Yuzu pipes up next to him.

“Javi’s type?” 

Javi blinks and turns back to Yuzu who is looking at him from the corner of his eye with his eyebrow raised. When Javi doesn’t reply he nods towards the girl at the table. 

“Javi’s type?” Yuzu asks again.

Javi supposes she is, if he really thinks about it, but truthfully he isn’t all that interested. He glances back at her a final time before shrugging. 

Out loud he says, “Nah, not really.”

Yuzu’s other brow flies up too. He takes a delicate sip of his drink and then sets the glass down firmly. Javi rolls his eyes at the unnecessary drama.

Just to be a brat Yuzu stares at him and starts listing off qualities, counting each one on his fingers.

“Bit short, pretty, long legs, dark hair,” Yuzu fires off, tone bordering on accusing. Javi rolls his eyes again, batting at Yuzu’s outstretched hand. 

“Yes, okay, fine,” Javi concedes, failing to hold back his smile at the way Yuzu does a little victory wiggle in his seat. “I have a type. Happy now?”

“I win,” Yuzu declares, and scrunches his nose at Javi over the rim of his glass. The little paper umbrella pokes him in the cheekbone as he does so and Javi watches him eye it, displeased. Laughing softly, Javi reaches forward and plucks the ornament from the glass. Yuzu shakes his head when Javi offers him the piece of pineapple stuck on the end of the wooden, toothpick-like insides of the umbrella, so Javi brings it to his own mouth and nibbles it off. It’s sweet and tart and does not go well with the taste of beer lingering in his mouth at all. He grimaces, Yuzu honking out a laugh at his expression. Javi sticks his tongue out at him and leans back into his chair comfortably, twirling the little umbrella in his hand.

There’s a lull in the conversation for a few minutes, but Javi knows neither of them mind. Javi has sat in many silences with Yuzu before - both charged and soothing. This is easy for them. Enjoying each other’s presence quietly is something they never had to learn to do. It had just come naturally, even back when Yuzu first joined the Cricket Club. It’s nice - comforting - the warmth of the hotel bar settling around them in their mostly private corner. At least, it's nice for Javi. There's still some tension clinging to the edges of Yuzu - visible in his face and back. However, Javi doesn't push it. The tinkling of the ice in Yuzu’s glass is all that passes between them for a little while until a question pops into Javi’s head.

“Wait,” Javi says. 

Yuzu looks over at him curiously.

“I’ve never asked,” Javi continues. “Do you have a type?”

It’s unfortunate for Yuzu that Javi knows him so well, and immediately clocks when the slight beginnings of a drunken flush in his cheeks spreads across his nose in Yuzu’s universal sign of deathly embarrassment. 

“No,” Yuzu says, stubbornly turning back to stare into his glass. 

Javi grins. 

“Oh really?” He asks, and then leans over to poke Yuzu’s soft, pink cheek. “Then why are you blushing?”

Yuzu doesn’t even blink as he takes one of the ice cubes from his glass and throws it in Javi’s general direction. Javi laughs as it hits his chest and plops into his lap. It’s melted enough that he can feed it down the neck of his bottle. He licks the excess water from his fingertips with a smug grin when Yuzu looks at him with thinly veiled disgust. 

There's another lull as Yuzu looks everywhere but at Javi. Javi patiently nurses his beer.

“Kind,” Yuzu says suddenly.

Javi looks back towards him. “Huh?”

The flush on Yuzu’s cheeks has deepened from its petal pink to a harsh cherry red. Gently, he traces the ornate design etched into his glass with the tips of his thumbs, shoulders pulled up around his ears in discomfort. 

After a few seconds of achingly long silence, Yuzu continues, “Nice shoulders and arms, bigger than me too. And,” Yuzu hums and begins to smile. “I like big hands, not soft is okay, but warm hands are best. I like ones that fit perfect on my waist. And, funny is important too, like, not just jokes but a fun person, a happy person who likes to smile, and make other people smile.”

Javi watches with rapt attention at the way Yuzu’s shoulders loosen and he sits up straighter as he talks. 

“Thick hair. Bald men make me think of coaches. Dark hair is my favourite, brown is good. I like it different than mine because straight hair is so boring. Maybe from somewhere different, not from home I mean. And,” Yuzu chews the corner of his mouth for a second. “I have to be important to him, and he will be important to me too.”

There’s a pause while Yuzu draws in a deep breath and finally looks back at Javi, the corner of his eyes pinched tight. Javi wants to reach out and soothe the strain around them with his thumb, wants to let Yuzu settle his cheek into the curve of his palm in their once familiar gesture. 

He doesn’t get a chance before Yuzu is speaking again, voice thick with something new. “But, kind is _most_ important.”

Javi swallows around the lump in his throat, holding Yuzu’s soft gaze until Yuzu turns away.

Javi coughs and takes another drink. “That’s a long list,” he rasps. “Must be hard to find someone with all that.”

Yuzu smiles wryly down at the table. 

Javi coughs. “So,” he starts. “Have you ever been with a woman?”

Stupid.

Literally couldn't get any more stupid.

Someone take away his ability to speak.

Javi is mentally listing every single curse he can think to hurl at himself - both English and Spanish - when Yuzu's head whips up to give him the most unimpressed look Javi has ever been on the receiving end of.

“No,” Yuzu says, matter of factly. “No women. I'm _gay_ , Javi, I just describe a _man_.”

“I know, it was a stupid question,” Javi sinks into his chair and tilts his head against the backrest with a groan. “I keep putting my foot in my mouth, I'm sorry.”

Javi hears Yuzu giggle slightly, clearly amused at his apology.

“Javi is so bad with words now,” Yuzu teases. “What happened?”

“God, I don't know.” Really, he doesn’t.

“Have you ever been with woman?” Yuzu parrots, pitching his voice deeper and lisping heavier. Javi, very politely, doesn't kick his shin under the table.

Hearing Yuzu laugh makes him smile, like it always does. God help him.

“Okay!” Yuzu says, and Javi peeks out of one eye to see the dangerous edges of Yuzu's smile. He braces himself.

“Has Javi ever had sex with a man?”

Yuzu says it mockingly, like he's trying to get Javi back with the most ridiculous, overly personal question he can think of; like the idea of Javi sleeping with a man is so crazy, so far outside the realm of possibility that to even ask it is a joke in itself.

But- “Yeah,” Javi says, turning his head to look at Yuzu again. “I have actually.” God, it’s worth it just to see the way Yuzu's face turns.

“What?!” Yuzu almost shouts, gaping. Thankfully no one looks at them. “When?!”

Javi grins warmly at his bemusement. “A few years ago,” he says, and then clarifies. “After Miki and before Marina.”

Yuzu blinks rapidly at that. “Someone in skating?”

“No, someone in Spain, no one you know.”

It had been a nice, albeit drunk encounter. Pretty much bombing in Helsinki had been rough, and then there was having to cut off the remaining coldness of his once bright relationship with Miki. Then, there was the pressure of the upcoming Olympic season. It had snowballed and Javi, having caught the attention and subsequently trading loaded glances with a tall, handsome stranger at the end of the bar, had fallen happily into bed with him. It wasn’t all that intimidating for the inexperienced Javi at the time; some heavy petting and eventual bliss. It had been strangely comforting in that way that only being naked and vulnerable with someone can be, and exactly what Javi had needed at the time. Javi never saw the guy again, but he’d kissed him tenderly before he left, his limbs loose and a smile on his face. Javi still gave him a passing thought occasionally, hoping he was well. 

“I am,” Yuzu starts, and then flaps his mouth like a confused guppy. “So surprised.”

Javi taps him underneath his chin gently. “I can see that.” Javi says, then smirks. “Is that really so surprising?”

“Yes!” Yuzu yelps. “I think Javi is straight!”

Feeling bold - and smug for having caught Yuzu off guard - Javi shrugs. “I guess you were wrong,” He says, and then before he can stop himself, Javi winks. Yuzu hits him in the shoulder.

Javi drains his beer and gets up from his seat, gesturing to Yuzu’s empty glass. “Same again?” He asks, and at Yuzu’s happy nod he makes his way to the bar.

The room is still pretty empty, though a few tables have filled up. Now, it's entirely older couples, Javi notices. In fact, Yuzu and himself are probably the youngest people here. He wonders, absentmindedly, if any of them have noticed Javi and Yuzu in their little corner, if any of them have thought to themselves that he and Yuzu make a cute couple.

Javi cuts that thought off with an annoyed grunt. He and Yuzu aren’t a couple. And won’t be. Javi tries to ignore the chill that settles in his stomach. He’s not completely stupid. He knows - and knew the second the words spilled from Yuzu’s mouth - that he fits every single description Yuzu gave. His spine has been tingling restlessly ever since Yuzu had finished his little speech, since he had looked at Javi so softly aftwards. But then the memory of Yuzu running from him, angry and embarrassed that morning had shoved its way into his head and every tentative, warm feeling had curdled, sour in his mind. So he’d opened his mouth and said something completely ridiculous. 

Javi has to keep himself in line. This isn’t a bar in Spain, and Yuzu isn’t some tall, handsome stranger he’s never going to see again. Yuzu has been in his life for years, in that special way he is; both too much and not enough to call a true friend. Yuzu was dear to him in a way no one else ever had been, or would be. And Javi, for the life of him, is not going to fuck that up for the sake of getting his dick wet; no matter how much his hands crave to hold Yuzu down while Javi’s mouth works him slowly, until he’s writhing, lost in a haze of pleasure and tears. 

Javi blinks back to himself as the bartender asks what he’d like. He rattles off his order, asking for two of each for the hell of it. As Javi watches the man gather the ingredients for Yuzu’s cocktails, he forces his hands to unclench from the fists he’d made against the bar. To give them something to do, he flattens out the cash he’d brought up with him. 

Eventually, drinks balanced on a tray the bartender had kindly offered, Javi makes his way back to Yuzu. Yuzu looks up with a crinkle-eyed grin as Javi approaches and makes a little excited noise in his throat when he sees his drinks. He plucks one from the tray before Javi can put it down and starts sipping.

“So,” Javi says, getting himself comfortable again. “I thought of my next question.” 

When Yuzu acknowledges him with an expectant glance, he continues playfully, “How old were you when you lost your virginity?”

Javi laughs when Yuzu chokes.

“What so many sex questions?” Yuzu asks, sweetly pink again.

“Because its fun, and friends ask personal questions,” Javi says. 

‘Because I want to know how many men have seen you like I did this morning,’ Javi doesn’t say. 

Yuzu rolls his eyes, and then adopts his traditional thinking pose - eyes turned to the ceiling, finger playing with his bottom lip. It pouts cutely when he lets out a sudden breath.

“Um,” he answers, and then glances at Javi. “What counts as virginity?”

“Whatever you think it is.”

Yuzu nods, considering. “Okay, so, 23.” 

Javi hums. That seems about right, if he thinks back to how Yuzu used to be. Honestly, if Yuzu has said anything younger he would have been surprised.

“What about Javi?” Yuzu asks.

“Younger than that,” Javi says and grins when Yuzu unleashes a flurry of small slaps on his upper arm at the evasive answer. 

\---

The rest of their afternoon continues much in the same way, trading personal questions, drinking and laughing; or blushing in Yuzu’s case. 

It’s wonderful in a lot of ways, strange in others. Being like this with Yuzu feels as if several of his worlds are colliding and he isn’t certain of how to stop it, or if he wants to. They’re laughing and joking as if they’re friends, except Yuzu has been slowly inching closer as they go, their hands wrapped loosely around each other’s wrists on top of Javi’s leg. It's distinctly not friendly, and yet somehow it doesn't feel wrong.

Yuzu looks beautiful like this. Under the soft light streaming in through the windows it’s almost as if he’s sparkling. It’s now that Javi truly sees it. All that weight - the expectations, the want, the need to win, to innovate, to push both himself and skating - is gone. He looks light, freer, softer around the edges, some of the sharpness gone from his gaze. He’s always been pretty, but open and happy like this he looks truly beautiful.

It’s not as if Javi hasn’t thought about it before. He isn’t stupid and he isn’t blind. 

It wasn’t just him that noticed; suddenly, Yuzu went from the pretty, exuberant kid to the enchanting, fiery _Olympic gold medalist_. As much as people don’t like to admit it, that turns more heads. Suddenly, people started noticing Yuzu more, decked out in his delicate white lace, all bright smiles and incredible sincerity. Gradually, it cycled. People got louder, and Yuzu got bolder, more coy; started lingering closely, enjoying being chased. Javi noticed. How could he not? Javi sat and listened over the years, hands always clenched around his beer, as men he knew and admired would go into graphic detail over what they wanted to do to Yuzu. Javi would never join in, but sometimes he’d catch Yuzu’s eye in the crowd. Yuzu would beam cheekily at him and Javi would think about everything he was hearing around him, and revel in the knowledge that if he ever got the chance, he would be _better_. Javi _knows_ Yuzu. Always, a spiteful smirk would try to pull at Javi’s lips at the thought of anyone being able to take Yuzu apart like he could. Javi knows the sensitive parts of Yuzu, had unintentionally catalogued them throughout their time together; he knows exactly where he’d need to put his mouth to make Yuzu shake. And that, simmering through Javi’s drunk-hazed brain, would be what helped him keep it together during those moments.

It feels like that now. His palm itches where the condensation builds up against the bottle, and Yuzu's face echoes the looks he would give him then, when he instinctively knew which shoulder to look over to be able to spot Javi in any crowd. The curve of his smile is as cheeky as ever, as is the scrunched nose, but this time Yuzu's pupils are blown, his head is titled back to show of his neck in that way he does to tease, and Javi has to take another swig of his beer so he doesn't lean forward and let himself taste.

The air between them is thick and if Javi were a stronger man he'd do something about it. He recognises a blatant attempt at flirting when he sees one. Hell, he's practically an expert in them. Javi knows the way he's sat with his legs splayed, his fingertips grazing over the inside of Yuzu’s forearm, is no better. It this were anyone else - anyone _less_ \- he'd he carrying them to bed rather than staring at them. But it's not anyone - it's Yuzu.

Yuzu who, on paper, is everything Javi usually wants. Yuzu who, sitting in front of him, is everything Javi craves.

Neither of them move any closer. They spend most of the afternoon in a hazy silence, trading mumbled remarks and mostly just staring at each other. Javi can see it in Yuzu's face, can see the hunger he knows will be mirrored in his own gaze, but neither of them will do anything about it; even though Javi knows what Yuzu feels like hard against him, knows how warm he gets, knows he _whines_. But Javi is a coward, so he spends their time watching the way Yuzu's lips curl around his words, curbing the urge to test their plush softness with his thumb the entire time.

It’s only early evening by the time they stumble back upstairs. They abandon their table, Javi leading Yuzu by his hand. Javi feels the eyes watching them and he resolutely tries to keep his thoughts in check even though the the drunken fog fights desperately against it, all but screaming at him to give into what he wants. 

Javi fumbles with his room key in his spare hand as Yuzu giggles behind him. Javi is sweating, he can feel it, knows Yuzu will be able to feel it where he’s leaning on him and where their palms meet. It feels too much like every one night stand he’s had and parts of him are starting to get a bit too interested in that. When Javi shoves the door open he looks over at Yuzu against his better judgement. 

God Javi wants to kiss him. That’s what it boils down to. That’s why his skin is trembling. That’s why his lips part. That’s why he almost leans in. 

Javi catches himself at the last second and pulls Yuzu into the hotel room instead. They’re both drunk. This isn’t going to happen, and it certainly isn’t going to happen now. 

It takes them a while to wrestle their clothes off. Yuzu ends up bent over with laughter when Javi gets trapped in his jeans, and then he squeals when Javi launches them at his head. Fortunately for Yuzu, he’d chosen to wear his comfiest clothes, so he slips out of his sweatpants no problem. They clean their teeth together, elbows knocking, and it’s a sight to see in the mirror; Javi in just his underwear and Yuzu in his baggy t-shirt and briefs, their faces flushed and eyes glazed. An ache pulses under Javi’s ribs, that same ache that flares up as soon as he remembers that this won’t last forever. Javi watches in the mirror as Yuzu rubs way some toothpaste from the side of his lip and it kills him to not be able to crowd in close against his back and bury his nose against Yuzu’s hairline. He could, he if wanted to, he knows Yuzu wouldn’t mind. But that’s not really the point.

Javi leaves the bathroom and throws himself back onto the bed with a sigh. They shouldn’t sleep now because they’ll wake up around midnight, but evidently neither of them seem to care as Yuzu trips over his own feet in his haste to get into bed. Javi lifts up his arm, assuming Yuzu will choose to tuck himself against his side again. He doesn’t.

Instead, Javi is left gaping up at Yuzu as he straddles him.

God he’s warm. The heat of Yuzu’s bare thighs on his hips and his palms on Javi’s chest is searing. Like this they're lined up perfectly. If Javi wanted to he could tilt his hips up, chase whatever pleasure Yuzu was trying to find that morning. Yuzu stares down at him, almost challengingly and if they weren’t drunk then Javi wouldn’t have been able to stop himself pulling Yuzu down by his shirt, from licking into his mouth and tasting every noise he’d make. 

Instead, he fiddles with the bottom of Yuzu’s shirt and urges him, gently, “Take this off.”

Javi can hear the way Yuzu’s breath hitches, but he does as asked, slipping it up over his head before he lets it drop to the floor. The sight of Yuzu's back arching, of his chest straining as he does is something that is going to haunt Javi's dreams for a long time. Javi has seen Yuzu half naked several times before over the years, but never like this. Yuzu's chest heaves, and Javi drinks in every inch of his pale, peachy skin. 

Javi slowly - reverently - slides his hands over Yuzu’s waist. Even after all this time, they still fit there perfectly. He uses his grip as leverage to guide him carefully down. Chest-to-chest, he wraps his arms around Yuzu's back securely, turning his nose into the curve of Yuzu's neck and nuzzles in close, Yuzu's lips grazing the edge of Javi's jaw.

“Did you have fun?” Javi mumbles.

Yuzu nods, but doesn’t say anything.

They sleep like that that night, closer than they've ever been before, their bare skin unbearably hot to the touch.

They don't talk about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> why do i do this to myself and yes, apparently there's gonna be a third chapter ??? I TOLD U I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT HAPPENED 
> 
> I really hope u all enjoyed this continuation tho ;; it came out pretty easily but this week generally has been a struggle and i think?? im proud of this but who knows, my brain will likely change it's mind about that later lmao
> 
> speaking of, i always get too awkward to reply to comments but please know i do read each and every one and whenever i see there's something in my inbox it makes my day so much happier, ur support was what made this happen. seriously thank u so much ❤❤


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuzu reaches out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God i'm so sorry this took as long as it did ;; I had 16k worth of deadlines and then sgajshga a little breakdown
> 
> Massive shout out to everyone that helped me, encouraged me and gently yelled at me while i was dallying on

Waking up feels like wading through syrup. 

Javi cracks his eyes open, groaning pitifully when the glow of a lamp spills over him. It dims the walls, the closed curtains sealing it in. It's still night, he can tell. Everything is quiet in that way only an early hour can bring. The silence rings in his ears.

The room is warm; instead of combatting the chill of the air as usual, Javi stretches out on the bed. Absentmindedly, Javi uses his feet to search the covers but they're so far down at the bottom of the bed he can barely reach them, most likely kicked away by either himself or Yuzu.

A giddiness rushes through him. God he's still so tired. It's like pulling out of a dream. Javi can still feel Yuzu on top of him, over his waist and hips like a bruise, but the ache is sweet. Absentmindedly, Javi strokes over his stomach, missing the sturdiness of Yuzu's weight. 

Yuzu.

Javi jolts.

Yuzu is gone. 

Javi strains his ears but can't hear the automatic fan in the bathroom or the shower. His eyes shoot open, an uncomfortable, sudden pressure settling in his veins. 

He swivels his head, searching blearily before the tension drains out of him.

Yuzu is still on the bed. He's sat cross legged on the mattress next to him. There's a look on his face Javi can't understand. He's staring down at Javi, eyes sweeping over him in constant looping motions, up and down leisurely and rhythmically. While his eyes are moving the rest of Yuzu is still and loose, his face slack. He must have been awake for a while, his cheeks have lost their sweet, sleepy glow, and his hair is tucked behind his ears, no doubt soothed by frantic fingers.

Javi wonders how long Yuzu's been sat there, watching him sleep. For all he knows it could have been hours. The thought sends a little shudder through him. He wants to reach out for him but Yuzu is perched on the very edge of the bed, almost as if he'd tried to run once he realised where he was and changed his mind at the very last second.

That's not exactly a reassuring thought.

Yuzu's gaze drags so slowly along Javi's chest that it springs a phantom sensation under his skin, like fingertips gently wandering from his navel to his neck, chasing his breath out of his lungs. Javi's chest flutters when their eyes meet.

Yuzu looks - different. Javi can't quite pinpoint how but there's something there, an extra spark, a deeper darkness in his eyes. He's staring at Javi like he's seeing through him; like he's burning his way through layers of skin, muscle and bone; as though he's trying to figure out if he can work his way inside. 

Unsure of what to do, Javi holds his hand out to Yuzu.

Yuzu glances down at it for a second, drawing the intense weight of his stare away. Javi uses that blip to take his first breath in what feels like hours. Yuzu considers his hand before he takes it, Javi's thumb instinctively soothing over his skin. Gently, he pulls him closer.

Yuzu doesn't straddle him this time. The thought sends a flicker of guilt-ridden heat through Javi. He wants Yuzu to do that he realises, he wants Yuzu as close as they were when they slept. Instead, Yuzu kneels next to Javi, his knees pressing against Javi's side. Javi rests their hands on his chest, linking their fingers together after a moment of hesitation. 

“How long have you been awake?” Javi asks, his voice thick and rough from sleep.

There's a pause before Yuzu answers. “Not long,” he says, in a near whisper.

“Are you okay?”

Javi blinks tiredly as Yuzu seems to mull it over. His stomach tightens anxiously, likely visibly from the way Yuzu's eyes dart towards it for a second for looking back at their hands. There's strange feeling under Javi's skin. Yuzu hasn't needed to think over a conversation between them for a very long time. Javi isn't stupid, he knows what the pauses mean, and can't help but wonder for a sickening second if Yuzu is trying to hide something from him.

They'd been so comfortable last night. What had changed?

“Hey,” Javi prompts quietly, giving Yuzu's hand a squeeze. “What's going on in your head?”

Yuzu smiles a little at that. “A lot.”

“Sounds tough,” Javi says. “Want to talk about it?”

Javi's skin tingles when Yuzu pins him with those eyes again. 

“Do you?” Yuzu asks.

Javi frowns. "What does that mean?" 

"We," and then, infuriatingly, Yuzu pauses again, teeth worrying at his lower lip. His hand in Javi's grip goes tense. Javi watches with barely concealed impatience as Yuzu appears to steel himself. "We don't talk about it. We never talk about it."

Javi sighs. "We don't talk about what?"

And then his throat clogs when Yuzu mutters a quiet, "Us."

For a quick moment Javi briefly ponders if this is a dream; the unearthly silence, the dim light, Yuzu's soft edges and burning stare. But the warmth of Yuzu is real, the weight of Yuzu's hand on his chest is real. The way Javi's body tenses is very real. As is the way Yuzu follows the shudder that rattles down Javi's torso with his eyes. It's so much to see the way Yuzu's mouth parts ever so slightly when his gaze settles around Javi's waistband. There's a telling blush rising in Yuzu's cheeks, and Javi's blood pulses. 

"Us?" Javi manages to grate out.

Damn those eyes. "Yes."

"What about us?" 

Instead of answering, Yuzu moves his free hand down towards his legs and traps Javi's hand there; holds it where Javi's fingers had drifted and began stroking the muscle above Yuzu's knee gently. He hadn't even realised - has no idea how long he's been doing it. Javi flushes, embarrassed. When he clears his throat and tries to pull his hand away, Yuzu resists. Yuzu flattens Javi's palm down against his thigh and holds it there. 

"We never talk about it," Yuzu says. 

Truthfully, Javi's swimming thoughts are having difficulty trying to piece together whether Yuzu means they never _have_ talked about it, or that they never _should_ talk about it.

"I wait for Javi," Yuzu says. "It's okay I do that, but Javi always looks away, or says something else."

Javi gapes up at him. 

"Yesterday," Yuzu says, and then bites his lip, clenching his jaw tight. Instinctively, Javi works his thumb over the soft curve of Yuzu's thigh in small, soothing circles, and Yuzu looks down at it. "Yesterday we have fun, we talk and," he pauses again to sigh. "It's us."

"I think for a long time," Yuzu continues. "About you and me, and what is _us_ , and what that _means_. And then I think, Javi doesn't want me to think like this, because Javi doesn't want to talk about it. But that makes me feel bad." 

Yuzu moves his hand suddenly, but Javi's grip on it has gotten dangerously tight. Javi isn't sure when that happened either. So instead, Yuzu brings Javi's hand with his own, and presses them both against the burning skin of his breastbone. 

"I'm tired of feeling bad," Yuzu says, voice dropping to a low murmur that is close to getting lost in the roaring of Javi's blood in his ears. "If you don't want to talk about it, then fine, but I do. I need to."

Yuzu's words from last night ring out again. The shy way they edged out, how he got more confident, how each one was spoken so reverently, like a prayer - like a _wish_. Javi's mind works over them tackily, sticking to certain phrases. He tries to match them up with what Yuzu is saying now. 

It takes a few seconds for Javi to find his voice again.

"I don't understand," Javi rasps.

The stiffness drains out of Yuzu's shoulders, but it's not in a good way. The way he closes his eyes and slumps forwards slightly, like it was only the fight in him that was holding him up, makes Javi want to kick himself. He turns over on the bed, lying awkwardly on his side, his shoulder at a slightly painful angle under his weight. 

"Explain to me," Javi rushes out, and then tries to joke. "It's really early Yuzu, you know what my brain is like."

Yuzu doesn't laugh, he barely even smiles. His mouth pinches tightly for a second but that's all the reaction Javi gets.

"C'mon," Javi says, softer. He uses his hold on Yuzu's leg to jostle him gently. 

For all his earlier courage, Yuzu seems to have lost his bravado. When his eyes open with a gentle flutter that strange look in them is gone. Yuzu's face is pink, and he's started rubbing his thumb against the grain of the hair on Javi's arm. The fondness that sweeps through Javi is sudden, pooling through him until he's smiling at the way Yuzu's mouth starts opening and closing, lips pouting around words he can't fully form. 

Javi taps his knuckles against Yuzu's sternum.

"Look at me," he murmurs. Immediately, Yuzu does. "You can say anything to me, always."

Javi strokes Yuzu's thigh again. "Even if I don't understand and you have to explain it to me 100 times. You can tell me anything, I promise. Especially if whatever it is is making you feel bad."

Yuzu snorts slightly at that, and Javi bumps their joined hands against Yuzu again in retaliation.

"Hey!" Javi says. "It's true and you know it."

The corners of Yuzu’s mouth twitch and Javi is momentarily blindsided with the urge to kiss the tiny dimples that appear. 

"I can," Yuzu agrees. 

"So go on."

Javi watches Yuzu mull it over, picking and choosing his words carefully. It's okay, Javi reasons. 

"I want you, and sometimes I think - sometimes I know - you want me too." 

It's like a knife in Javi's gut, too hot and sliding in too smoothly. It's such a simple statement, something so easy out loud and yet so fucking complicated. Years and _years_ of push and pull, of overthinking and not thinking; years and years of _wanting_.

Javi tries to breathe.

"I know this for a long time, and I say before that it's okay, and it is, but I know Javi doesn't like thinking about it, so I leave it alone." Yuzu smiles at him, a bit cheeky and a bit sad. "But then yesterday, we talk and I see you looking so now is the time to talk about it I think. I think now it's-it’s the right time. Here."

Here.

Because that's what it always comes down to. The two of them, together, in this bed - in any bed. Outside their hotel rooms they haven't been any more tactile than usual, last night notwithstanding. There's something about sleeping together, being physically close and vulnerable, stripping away layers of clothing until they're skin to skin, warm and real; like a blurring of some sort of line. Yuzu doesn't politely shift away from the graze of Javi's fingertips on his thigh, instead he shivers, presses into it like he craves more. But there's confidence behind it. Something in Yuzu's mind has started reassuring him that Javi will let him chase the sensation, and will give him what he wants.

And Javi would - he will.

Javi still remembers the day Yuzu first arrived, in vivid detail. He was tiny, all pointy elbows and floppy limbs, but he was made of fire, throwing himself into every half-recognised command Brian and Tracy gave without a second thought, pushing through bad landings and harsh breaths like it was what he was made to do. Even then Yuzu’s soul was made of gold, and Javi remembers it feeling like he could see it shining inside Yuzu’s chest in those moments, bright and pulsing. But then Javi would smile at him, or offer him a hand, and Yuzu would blink like he couldn’t understand what was happening, and like clockwork - one, two, three seconds later - he would blush sweetly, beaming back at Javi like he’d given him something special, too special to hold down the gratitude. Yuzu’s sincerity was one of the first thing’s Javi ever noticed about him. He would make loud, sometimes kind, sometimes critical, often arrogant, statements, but they would always be honest. Javi would watch as Yuzu would look at someone and say something incredibly powerful in halted English like it was nothing. 

_I will win today._

_If Javi believes, he can win_.

_Nothing will stop me_.

_I owe what I won to him._

_I’m with Javi._

_I can’t do it without you._

_I will respect you forever._

Things that should be so complicated - too complicated - sounded so easy in Yuzu’s soft, high voice, curling around the slight lisp like it could shave off the sharp edges off of his words. 

And now this. 

_I want you_. 

Javi would give Yuzu anything, if he only asked. So what is he supposed to do, now that Yuzu is asking?

Maybe it is that simple. 

Yuzu is still looking at him, eyes warmer but no less dark, sparkling with gold glimmers in the low light. He whines a little when Javi lets go of his hand and thigh, and Javi's palms tingle as he pushes himself up. His heart pounds furiously once he's upright looking at Yuzu straight on instead of upwards, where Yuzu looked like some impossible, intangible thing even as he touched him. Like this, he's become just _Yuzu_ again. 

Javi shuffles forward, bracketing Yuzu's thighs with his own. Yuzu looks down at their legs momentarily and when he looks back his blush is darker. Javi wants to soothe that cherry red flush with his thumb - one of his deepest, most instinctual urges - so he does, tells himself he can as he tucks a stray strand of hair behind Yuzu's ear before he strokes across his cheek gently. Yuzu turns to press his cheek to Javi’s palm, and it’s like something slots into place between them.

“Do you want me?” Yuzu mumbles.

A breath. Two.

"You know I do," Javi rasps, finding something strength to force it out. 

It should feel like something more, but it's just strangely warm, almost inviting, like that confession was meant to be said aloud. 

"Of course I want you," Javi breathes. "This whole trip has been killing me. Have you tried sharing a bed with you? Or looking at you everyday? It's hard, when I can't touch you."

"You could have.”

Yuzu's embarrassed face, the content sighs, the slightness of his waist as he turned and ran; it all pulls at him again. 

"You ran away from me yesterday." 

Yuzu's lips twitch. Javi stares at them as he speaks. "Javi run away for years."

Which. Okay that's fair.

"Can you blame me?" Javi asks.

Yuzu tilts his head and crooks his brows. 

"It's so much, Yuzu," Javi says, tips his temple against Yuzu's because he needs to feel him. "It's so much."

"But you want me," Yuzu says, like that's all that matters. Hell maybe it is.

Can it be simple? Can that be truly all that matters?

The outside starts bleeding in again; the doubt it brings swirling in the room, in Javi's chest. But then Yuzu sighs, breath streaming across Javi's fevered skin, and his shoulders fall.

"Everyone wants you," Javi says, misdirects, attempts to divert. "You're too sweet to turn away."

“Would it be better if I was mean?”

“No,” Javi says, pressing closer, and Yuzu reaches for him in return. “You don't have it in you to be cruel.”

Which isn't the case, they both know. Yuzu can be cold when he - in his own words - needs to be. It's a part of him that rarely shows, but it's a necessary one. Shutting down, locking everything away to think about again another day is one of Yuzu's self-proclaimed strengths. 

“Javi doesn't either,” Yuzu says, voice quiet and warm. Which is also not particularly true. Javi, in juxtaposition with Yuzu's cold-shoulder, is known for his quick, burning flashes of anger and irritation. 

"Don't I?" Javi prods, lips curling a tad bitterly.

Yuzu pulls back, face so soft, and says, "No, Javi is _kind_."

It rings out like it did the previous evening, and Javi freezes. His chest feels like it could collapse. He's sure he doesn't even blink, can barely see, Yuzu blurring around the edges. The tip of one of Yuzu's fingers draws a line through Javi's beard, scratches under his chin with the barest hint of a nail like Javi is a cat. He shudders. His fingers shake. Yuzu must feel it because he gives Javi that look again - gentle and patient.

"Kind," Yuzu says again. "Kind and important."

_Oh_.

"Oh."

Yuzu's cheek bunches in Javi's hand, eyes disappearing into crescents. It's too much and Javi-

Javi kisses him.

What else can he do?

What else does he even want to do?

His brain goes silent for the first time in a long while.

It's soft, barely there, just the barest amount of pressure, warmth, and the edges of Yuzu's laughter. Yuzu sighs, not surprised in the slightest and leans into Javi instinctively. Something loosens and tightens in Javi at the same time, that constant push and pull of want and fear curdling into something sweeter with every brush of their lips. 

Javi's other hand comes up to cup the side of Yuzu's neck, the one on Yuzu's cheek sweeping around to brush through his hair. The content noise Yuzu lets out burns and Javi leans up on his knees, tilting Yuzu's head back slightly. Yuzu's kisses are just this side of clumsy, unpractised enough that it only serves to stoke the once dwindled competitive fire in Javi's chest. Everything is hazy, narrowed down to tiny points of contact, but Javi feels his body move, feels the way he curls down and closer, kissing Yuzu with every pent up urge, every desire to be good, to be _better_ , to be the one to take Yuzu apart, truly, in all the ways Javi knows he's the only one that could. 

And Yuzu _whines_. 

They both pull back with a gasp. Javi's lungs feel like they're made of iron, like they can't expand enough to bring in all the air he needs and he can feel them getting smaller and Yuzu opens his eyes. There's glitter; in his blown pupils, on his wet lips and in the sweat on his neck. 

Neither of them speak. 

Yuzu nudges away Javi's hands and collapses backwards, legs and arms open in invitation. Javi groans but he's over Yuzu in an instant, drinking in the sight of his hair fluffed up on the bed, and the blush creeping down his throat. Yuzu's hands interlock across Javi's nape. He pulls him down and then Javi can't think anymore.

Yuzu twists when Javi's hand settle on his waist, mouth opening for him easily. Something close to disbelief flashes through Javi, but Yuzu's mouth is hot and his fingernails are biting into Javi's shoulders and he's here and real and wanting under Javi's searching fingers. Javi digs his thumbs into the dips next to Yuzu's hip bones, and groans when Yuzu rolls his hips up. 

The room around them is still, the air gathered close and sticking to Javi's back. With each stroke of Yuzu's fingers into Javi's hair it begins to feel like they're the only ones in the universe, the world outside their door and beyond the windows blurring away. Yuzu's kisses are confident despite their inelegance but the way Yuzu moves is confident in a different way, slick and fluid, mindlessly chasing pleasure, and Javi is hit with an image all of a sudden, of Yuzu rutting against a faceless, muscled form, mouth open and face flushed. It's overwhelming; searing, burning, _charging_ through Javi's veins.

Everything goes molten. The itch that's been building up slowly bursts and suddenly it seems like Javi can't move quick enough, can't get his mouth where he wants it to be fast enough. His fingers work blindly across Yuzu's sides, his thighs, his ass, pushing into the parts of him Javi knows makes him shiver. His mouth works down from the hinge of Yuzu's jaw down his neck, biting into the perfect slope of his collarbone, stroking over his navel as he does and Yuzu's voice breaks.

"J-Javi!" Yuzu pants. 

He's warm. God he's so warm. 

Javi reaches under Yuzu and pulls his hips up roughly, gets the friction were they both need it and it's almost blinding. Yuzu thrashes, nails catching sharply at the sensitive skin at Javi's nape and Javi's hips jump forward. When Yuzu does it again Javi lets himself go pliant with a bitten-off laugh, watching the flush creep down Yuzu's chest. Javi leans down to kiss the very edges of it.

"Princess," Javi sighs, kisses the valley of his chest again. "Always so beautiful."

That whine gets more gorgeous each time. Javi wants to pull the noise from Yuzu's throat with his teeth and swallow it whole. 

"Princess," Javi teases again. Yuzu's next breath sounds like a sob. "I knew you'd like that."

Yuzu can lie - has lied - about liking so many things. Javi used to believe him. He would watch the way Yuzu's jaw would clench whenever someone would say it snidely, and want to slam his fist into the face of anyone who made Yuzu feel lesser. He'd see the way Yuzu's cheeks would bunch shyly whenever Stephane would coo it at him, but then Yuzu would roll his eyes and move on. At the time it would sting and Javi never understood why. He understands it now. 

He wants everything. He always has.

Javi doesn't realise he's stopped until Yuzu's little whines take a questioning turn, wiggling underneath Javi impatiently.

The heaviness of it all hits him. Suddenly, again, it all feels too unreal. Javi wants to do something, anything, that could make this feel real, but he isn't sure what that could be. The air is too still. The room is too quiet. The city is the wrong one; too warm. Javi wants it somewhere different. Somewhere colder, somewhere they both know. Somewhere familiar. 

_Home_.

Yuzu comes to a stop, eyeing him warily. Javi doesn't blame him, but the worry pinches slightly. He kisses it away sweetly, and his chest thuds when Yuzu's eyes sparkle again. 

"So pretty," Javi says against Yuzu's cheek, overwhelmed. "So perfect."

This needs to stop for now. 

Javi's hands find Yuzu's thighs as he sits them both up, curling them down over Yuzu's ass to keep him in his lap. Javi holds him there, keeping his hips still but pressing his warmth close and leans in until his forehead rests against Yuzu's. It's damp, sweat starting to build up under Yuzu's hair, but Javi is used to that after years of pulling him close and breathing him in. The way Yuzu's arms wrap fully around his shoulders, fingers finding the short hairs along the top of his neck, and how his chest brushes against Javi's with every shaking breath is almost peaceful, despite how Javi's blood feels like it's trying to burn out of him.

Javi strokes along Yuzu's thigh, fingers dancing over the ridge where the muscle is its thickest and Yuzu's whole body curls inwards, clinging to Javi's sides. The low gasp is cute, and it pings a strange nostalgia somewhere in the back of Javi's consciousness. 

It's Yuzu. It's always him.

"You're Yuzu," Javi mumbles, twisting his fingers to help Yuzu make that noise again. He does and it feels like Javi's whole body lights up. 

"You're Javi," Yuzu says, cheeky and still a bit desperate.

The curl of his lips is kittenish, and Javi wants to kiss him again. So he does, gently. Once. Twice. But Javi doesn't reply, he isn't sure how. He's not sure where he was even going with that statement. It was just - something that needed to be said. A finality. 

Yuzu smiles and leans forward to tap the end of his nose against Javi's. Everything inside him turns marshmallow soft. 

"Are you okay?" Yuzu asks quietly. "Too much?"

Javi snorts. "Not enough."

"But?"

Javi bites his lip. "I don't know," Javi says. "It's all - it's a lot. Feels like I'm dreaming."

Which is true. It does. There's a small, sickening part that is worried this is a dream sparked from some part of his hungover brain; where he gets everything that he's never been allowed to admit that he wants. One where that magnetism between him and Yuzu felt like an actual pull rather than two of the same pole constantly bouncing away from each other when things got too close.

Yuzu smiles again. "Javi thinking too much. But it's okay."

"Can we stop?" Javi asks, fighting against the very loud part of him that really doesn't want to. 

Yuzu is humming in affirmation before Javi even gets the words out, nuzzling in impossibly closer. 

"Forever?" Yuzu asks, gripping tighter for a second.

"Definitely not." 

Yuzu giggles at his tone and his hands unlatch.

"Are you still tired?" Javi asks. 

Yuzu's eyebrows pull together but he nods.

"Sleep with me, again?" Javi breathes. He lets his lips graze Yuzu's softly. "Please." 

"Not yet," Yuzu says. He tucks his face into the crook of Javi's neck. His body goes slack, resting his entire weight in Javi's lap. Javi folds his arms around him more securely.

"You can stay there," Javi says, and then promptly falls backwards. Yuzu shrieks as he does, pulling his arms in.

Javi laughs when they land, ready to burst, but it trails off into a groan when Yuzu bites at his neck in retaliation. Yuzu snickers when his hips twitch.

It takes a while for them to get settled; too many playful nips of fingers and teeth; long kisses and gentle caresses. Yuzu tries to creep his fingers under Javi's waistband and Javi is laughing too hard to stop him. Instead he lies back as Yuzu has a curious grope, and when Yuzu flicks his eyebrows up at him, impressed, Javi collapses into near hysterics.

The world continues on outside as the summer sun comes up, early and bright; as light as the feeling in Javi's stomach and as hot as Yuzu's skin on his. It's right. It's incredible.

"Stop thinking," Yuzu mumbles, half asleep. "We talk later."

Javi closes his eyes and complies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> huheuheuhuehuehe i hope this was worth it!! and i hope u all enjoyed the ending despite how long it took ;; this fic was just meant to be a little plot bunny and evolved into something i ended up actually really loving 
> 
> all of the comments have seriously helped me get through writing this, you're all so sweet and supportive ;; i hope ur excited for more from me in the future 
> 
> see u's next time <3

**Author's Note:**

> i'm back on my cuddling & snuggling bullshit lmao 
> 
> i swear this started out as a lil bed-sharing drabble and somehow... gained a slight plot ;;
> 
> i hope u all enjoyed it!!


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